How to get what you want at work in 2022

What I've learned about how to get things done

Everyone has things that they want done but have trouble getting done. I imagine you, like me, don’t agree with everyone about what’s most important, and that you spend some percentage of your time — hopefully a small one — frustrated by being unable to convince other people that what you want done is what should be done. 

I used to be frustrated fairly often. I had trouble understanding why people didn’t see what I saw. From where I sat, the plans I proposed made perfect sense. For some time, I chose to be frustrated instead of taking responsibility for how I communicate. When I paused to think about why I wasn’t getting my way, I started to understand.

I had to let go of “being right” in favor of getting what I want. And sometimes I had to let go of “getting what I want” in favor of working for the good of the team. The result has been rapid career advancement, stronger relationships, more fun at work, better results. Less frustration.

You will not always get what you want. I don’t. And some environments are just not good. If you’re not in a good position, remember you can leave if you want to. 

Here are 22 things I’ve learned about how to get what you want at work.

One. You have to pitch people on a cure to the pain they are currently feeling. When people are stressed, they spend most of their time thinking about what’s stressing them. Your ideas may have huge upsides, but people aren’t ready to hear those upsides until you’ve addressed their stress. When there’s a fire in the kitchen, the balance of your 401k takes a back seat. Don’t just pitch the benefits of your ideas; build in ways to address the things that stress out the people you need sign-off from. 

Two. In order to pitch fixes to other people’s stressors, you have to know what other people want. What are their stresses? What are their pains? These are usually more important than goals or dreams, but know those too. I often ask my direct reports “what do you think [person on other team wants]?” Surprisingly often, the answer is “they want [thing that I want].” That might be true, sort of, but you need to know their absolute TOP priority, the thing that pops into their head in the shower. 

Three. YOU ARE ON THE SAME SIDE. If you have trouble convincing people that your way is the right way, it means you’re not speaking their language. Everyone is on the same team, and you should always always always frame situations as “together against the problem.” When you get frustrated, remind yourself “same team,” and think about what you might be missing.

Four. Find ways to involve other people and other teams in your projects. If a project is just you, it’s much easier to put aside in favor of something urgent. If you have 3 teams working on different components of your project, it’s harder to postpone. Look for ways to solve other people’s problems wherever you can. More often than you’d expect, there’s a way to help other people at the same time as you solve your own problem — but you won’t find it unless you look for it. Sometimes you’ll have to build the first step of a project on your own, but as soon as you have momentum you should involve other people.

Five. One-on-one meetings with your peers are never wasted time. But any given one-on-one meeting may or may not be individually productive. Over time your relationships at work will make it much easier to get things done, and get them done quickly.

Six. Fires get water. Everyone has experienced a long-term project getting deferred because of a short-term fire. That sucks, but it’s also just how people work. What if you could position the steps of your long-term plan as a series of short-term fires? Create urgency around things that need to get done — but not false urgency. Big “point in time” events (product releases, conferences, holidays) are valuable because you can push for things to “be ready in time for the event.” Make those things components of the bigger picture.

Seven. Build half, then set it on fire. Once you have a large chunk of a project built, it’s much easier to get the resources you need to finish it — or to make it even bigger than your initial plans. Sometimes you build via short-term fires, sometimes you do it on the side, but it’s a lot easier to get buy-in for the big picture when you have part of that picture already finished.

Eight. Share your wins. It will make your job easier. Everyone wants to be part of something successful. People want to cheer you on. If you have exciting results from work that you/your team has done, share them! Better yet — share screenshots of other people praising your work. 

Nine. When you share your wins, have some of the sharing come from people who are not you. When someone tells you about praise they saw out “in the wild,” or when someone on your team has just gone through the numbers and found something good. Tell them “wow that’s awesome! I bet the team would love to see that if you share it in Slack.” This raises general morale, helps your team build confidence, and makes other people more likely to want to work with you.

Ten. Share other people’s wins. Honestly, celebrating other people’s wins is even more important than sharing your own. Whenever you find a win in the wild, tell the team about it. The team who got the win will feel good, and this reinforces a culture of being on the same side.

Eleven. Tell other people when you like their work. You like other people’s work sometimes, right? You’ve thought “wow that’s pretty cool” about stuff other people do, right? TELL THEM! Make it a habit — whenever you think “wow that’s cool,” Slack the person right away. People deserve to have their work celebrated, and often celebrations get missed in the bustle of day-to-day (criticisms tend to still happen). This is the right thing to do, and it happens that it will also help you build relationships.

Twelve. Use momentum to your advantage. Success leads to more success. If you can show that an MVP is successful, suddenly more people will want to be involved in the v2. When you’re having trouble getting something started, identify the smallest part of it that can still be successful. Go do that, then share the results from it.

Thirteen. Break huge changes into chunks that you can execute on independently before you push for the huge change. If you want to change your business’ whole shit, not everyone will be on the same page as you at the beginning — but if you know that A, B, C, and D are 1) required before you change your business’ whole shit and 2) valuable no matter what happens next, you can push for those things. They’re easier to get approved and easier to get done. And once you live in a world where ABCD is already true, it’s an awful lot easier to get to E. 

Fourteen. Acknowledge hard moments. When the room feels tense, everyone feels it. Not talking about it doesn’t make the tension not exist. In the meeting that got me promoted to director, I made a point beginning with “I’m going to disagree, and it’s going to be a little uncomfortable. This is what I think we’re feeling.” If you can do this respectfully, in a way that takes everyone’s perspective into account and puts you all on the same side, your teams will be much more productive. And you’ll be looked to as a leader.

Fifteen. If you are having trouble getting what you need from another team, it means that the other team doesn’t think what you need will help them (even if it will). The best way around this is usually to build a solve for one of their pains into the work.

Sixteen. Self interest is the most powerful force in the working world. In the short term or on a small scale, other things can be more powerful than self interest. You can get work from people by creating urgency or calling in favors, but this will stop working over time unless you align to their self interests and show you understand them.

Seventeen. Own your mistakes. If you are generally successful and take unequivocal responsibility for mistakes, people will keep giving you responsibility. When you hedge your mistakes or try to offload them to other teams, you create a petty, political environment where your company works against itself instead of pointing itself outward at the market. You might get off without blame from the boss, but your peers will still blame you and your life will become more stressful.

Eighteen. When you own a mistake, explain what went wrong. You are not trying to make excuses, and you can even say that directly (start with “I take 100% responsibility for what happened”). Continue with what you think happened (“here’s what I think happened”) and how you have already taken action to avoid the same mistake in the future. When you do this, you show that you care and are already working to make things right. Sometimes it’s enough for the boss to know that you care as much as they do. Also, in teams nothing is 100% your fault, and the person you’re talking to probably knows that and will cut you some slack because you’re willing to take ownership.

Nineteen. Sometimes, you should own mistakes that are not entirely your fault. If you do this gracefully and are otherwise generally successful, the boss will appreciate your action in fixing the mistake. Your peers will really thank you for it, and you’ll strengthen your internal relationships. This has the opposite effect of hedging — it strengthens your team and helps point you towards the things that matter.

Twenty. What is strategic at your level is tactical one level up. You naturally care most about your area, but your boss cares about the areas next to yours and your boss’ boss cares about the business as a whole. When you present your ideas, you will be more successful if you can present them in terms that your boss’ boss cares about. Because your boss is going to talk to them about it.

Twenty-one. Arm your boss with the information they need to advocate for you. I have written entire emails about things my boss and I have already talked about and agreed on, just so that they can forward the note to their boss. Give your boss way more detail than they need, because it helps them trust your decision-making (even if they don’t read it) — but make sure that you also give the TL;DR of the most important things your boss needs to understand/pass on.

Twenty-two. Sell big dreams. I sometimes say “super overpromise, somewhat overdeliver.” If you are very good at your work, you will be able to see opportunities that other people don’t. You’ll be able to overdeliver on their expectations because their expectations are low — but you need to sell the dream in order to get the resources to deliver anything. When you paint a big picture, no one actually believes that you’ll achieve that picture. When you deliver great results anyway, you’ll still have achieved more than anyone expected. And now you’re a step closer to the big picture, and you’re likely to get what you need to keep going.